Purpose

I realize that I have neglected this blog. And that is not to say that my life has been uneventful. I have accomplished many things since the last time I visited here. I have tried to live my life within my "calling" and not just to "do". Yet there are times that I know that I have failed....or could have improved. Re-reading other posts, it seems that one issue I struggle with is how to parent my son. My 23 year old son who lives at home, but has no "purpose" in his life. He uses his musical talents at church. He has an awesome group of friends and loves to socialize. He even has a "relationship" and can help someone out at the last minute. But what of his "life's work" and earning a living? Life doesn't always go according to plan. Two years have passed and still my prayer is that he will find a job. Times are tough!!! I am very grateful for a God who provides our needs. Yet am I helping or enabling by paying the bills? Should I let him suffer HUGE consequences by defaulting on his college loans (or get them deferred)? This isn't a "I'll just pay it for him since he doesn't have a job" kind of thing. Each of those payments are being kept track of for future repayment. But he will be behind before he can ever catch up.

Re-reading this, he DOES have a purpose. Yet it doesn't look like the world's definition. Can I live with that? Is this what you are trying to teach me Lord?

We all have a purpose. Some find their purpose quickly. Some take their time and make sure that their purpose fits. God has given me four beautiful children with their own dreams and a purpose for each life. How do I nurture those dreams and encourage them in their purpose and help them to fly? Some of them are on their way. Some still have some growing to do.

Lord, strengthen me for helping my children find purpose in YOU first and then Your purpose for their days. Thank You for being here, before I arrived at this place and for going ahead into the "unknown" that is known to you.

Lessons God teaches

"For I know the plans I have for you...." God is in control and present in the good and the bad. Counting our blessings (the good) and leaning on Him (during the bad). There is such a balance between world standards and God standards. Do I leave God out of the day to day? All of a sudden our checkbook balance has dropped (you know, real estate taxes, license plates for vehicles, four kids, ......eating out at great places--for my birthday--but spending more than normal). There is nothing wrong with "watching pennies", but sometimes I want to be shown "money is no object" (within reason) without feeling guilty. Ahhh, the bottom line. So, God is in control. He will sustain us in times of plenty and in want. He will provide and I will do well to remember Him in day to day decisions and activities. And always I will remember that He loves me and His ways are higher than mine.

Summer "fun"

Now that June is almost over (in about 50 minutes) it seems that school is just around the corner. What have I accomplished:

• a week of Bible School
• got my classroom ready for summer cleaning
• spent a week in Cleveland for Creative Cornerstones
• spent time "facebooking" and following new found friends on blogs
• started making preparations for the "new" school year
• cheered my girls on at softball games
• have begun contemplating how to be a positive "force" in a negative space
• read two books and began a third
• sat on my porch swing a couple of times
• proved my daughter correct: "a clean house is a sign of a wasted mind"

Praying for: a job for my son, strength and endurance to organize my house.

God is good all the time. All the time God is good!

Grateful for summer reprieve.

Reflecting

So, after twenty months of spending just about every weekend on the computer typing papers, posting discussion pieces, research, watching videos, etc., I am finally FINISHED with my master's degree. Now comes the long wait for my grade and the official proclamation that I "have passed"! I have learned a lot along the way--saying "no", listening to God's voice and not "man's", and becoming a stronger person. So, I will crash for a while, enjoy reading some books for pleasure and getting back into the swing of things--cooking, cleaning, ...............

reflecting

I have now been a mother for twenty-one years! It does not seem that long. And I had three girls after him. Life was full! Somedays I wish that I could go back and do it all over again--snuggle a little more, play a little more, relax a little more. Even though I made mistakes and would change things (hind sight is always twenty-twenty), my son is an amazing person. I pray that God will continue to guide his steps and give him direction. For his well-being and self-esteem, I pray that God will answer this mom's prayer.

The count down continues!

In September, 2007 I began a journey that will result in acquiring my master's degree in Reading and Literacy. The first week of my last class is almost over. Seven weeks to go--and the submission of my portfolio. God has been present through it all--giving me strength, clarity of thought, and the words when needed. I look forward to more free time and getting my life back in order. Maybe that is what I have learned the most--order is good!

This is an experiment--moving out of my comfort zone and seeing where God will lead.